crucible_largeTypically people are attracted to a mate whose Enneagram Personality is different from their own. This way each partner brings qualities that complement and strengthen the other person. However, it may also mean that one partner’s emotional needs are completely foreign to the needs of the other person.

For couples, the Enneagram identifies key dynamics that are at work in the relationship. Each person enters the relationship with core emotional needs that represent what really matters to him or her. A partner who disregards or is insensitive to the other person’s core emotional needs will create tensions and arguments that may be avoided once awareness sheds light on the situation. Instead of arguing, criticizing, or pulling away from each other, these understandings make it possible for couples to work as a team in finding ways to respond and honor what is so vital to them.The key to success in sustaining the loving feelings in a relationship is that both sets of needs are equally responded to and valued. The Enneagram allows each person in the relationship to understand the other person’s set of core needs and make them as important as their own.  This understanding neutralizes judgement, and resentment is replaced with compassion.

Contact us at for more information on a 6-week relationship program designed for couples that explores each person’s Enneagram type, basic fears and desires, instinctual stack, and means of addressing conflict.  Individual sessions are also available.