It may seem a contradiction, then, to say that Nines find their identity by merging with another. They idealize certain people and life in general, and unconsciously try to solve the struggle of personal individualization by becoming part of something larger than themselves: a relationship, a group of friends or co-workers, a sports team that gets together regularly to play. Early in their lives, little Nines found a place within the family where they could belong but believed that place would be jeopardized if they expressed too much individual need or opinion. They may have been abused or neglected, but often the parents just didn't recognize that their Nine child needed encouragement to express her developing personality; after all, "she seemed so content to sit by herself in her playpen."

Inside every Nine is an inner child that craves attention and the spotlight. It is important for them to find their own style of power, often expansive and inclusive instead of dominating. Otherwise they express control by withdrawing or being stubborn, a strategy others call passive-aggressive. Occasionally, Nines may get fed up with giving themselves away to keep the peace and they may erupt, but only very briefly. Unfortunately, they are more likely to soothe themselves with food, alcohol, calming drugs, or mind-numbing games. They are at their best when they establish a sense of their own identity and learn to stand up for themselves.

FAMOUS NINES: Ronald Reagan, Whoopi Goldberg, Walter Cronkite, Garrison Keillor, The Dalai Lama, Audrey Hepburn, Edith Bunker.